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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

LOL "Exeedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25" wouldn't be a rumour anymore. It would be fact

2019 Bondathon...in progress (6) FRWL (7) GE (8) FYEO (9) TND (10) MR (11) GF (12) LALD (13) DAF (14) LTK (15) TMWTGG (16) TB (17) TSWLM (18) DAD (19) AVTAK (20) YOLT (21) QOS (22) SF (23) TWINE (24) SP

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

Yes, but calling the thread "Bond 25 facts" might have obscured the real intent of the topic.  ajb007/biggrin

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

"After accidentally impregnating himself, Bond hides out in a nunnery in a leafy suburb of Melbourne for several months. While away, Blofeld is released from prison and with Hinx opens a health food store as cover for a diabolical plot to takeover the world's entire supply of genetically modified carrots. Bond goes rogue when no one at MI6 believes his suspicions on Blofeld's real intentions but has to stop his efforts at 5pm when he must collect his daughter - cleverly disguised in an effort to save Bond's lilywhite reputation as the daughter of an old school chum who died in a random case of Brussel sprout poisoning - from the nursery school. Q takes over only to have to nip off to the vets when one of his cats eats a tainted stalk of asparagus leaving only Moneypenny to save the world."

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

Breaking News (I swear I am making this up) Daniel Craig has signed up to do 2 more Bond films with the proviso that a) They feature a DB5 in a confusing shoe in to confuse as many fans as possible, and b) there is a revenge type storyline because apparently, and these are DCs (fictional) words: The fans love it.

Also, Dame Judi Dench's agent has confirmed that she will have a cameo in that Bond receives a video from her in which she says...


****SPOILER ALERT****

"Ignore the last video I sent 007.  I'd been at the gin again.  Whatever you do, don't go to that funeral.  It'll end in tears and spoil everything my new boyfriend has worked hard for.  Gotta dash, Ernst wants me to rub coconut oil into his hair."


Honest, I've not made this up (I have)!!!

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

Are you sure you made it up? It's just to good not to be true  ajb007/biggrin

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

Number 24 - honestly (a lie) I totally didn't (did) make this up.

And I've just read somewhere on the world famous The Internet (I made this up too) that Blofeld reveals that, in addition to being Bond's foster brother, he is also having an illicit affair with Madeline Swann because, to use Blofeld's phrase in the leaked script (that I also made up) he knows it will rile dear James.

Anyway, Bond takes off on a mission, promising to be careful and return to Madeleine.  She berates him for spending too much time on "secret missions" and enters into her own "secret mission" with Blofeld.  She ends up with a bun in the oven and gives birth to a child.  Bond, meanwhile, tries to escape some baddies, gets shot, and his baby takes over as the next James Bond, starting a new story arc called James Bond Jnr. 

Oh I must stop drinking Vespers...

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

Bond's mission is to eliminate a computer programmer who has the ability to regularly finish Spider Solitaire in 85 moves.

Drawn Out Dad.
Independent, one-shot comic books from the outskirts of Melbourne, Australia.
twitter.com/DrawnOutDad

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

Hmmmm, a bit of a tricky mission that one.

I can do it in 113 moves, am I at risk?

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

Fish fingers will feature prominently, in the villain's plot.

"Let his death be a particularly unpleasant and humiliating one."

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

Thunderpussy wrote:

Fish fingers will feature prominently, in the villain's plot.

Poison Mercury - great title.

Drawn Out Dad.
Independent, one-shot comic books from the outskirts of Melbourne, Australia.
twitter.com/DrawnOutDad

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

In the next bond film, Bond will lose his driving licence, and so just catch the bus everywhere instead. Will include fast road-chases with an angry Daniel Craig sat on the passenger seat telling the bus driver to hurry up.

1 - Avtak, 2 - Op, 3 - Ltk, 4 - Lald, 5 - Fyeo, 6 - Ohmss, 7 - Sf, 8 - Dn, 9 - Ge, 10 - Daf, 11 - Tmwtgg, 12 - Tswlm, 13 - Mr, 14 - Tld, 15 - Yolt, 16 - Sp, 17 - Gf, 18 - Frwl, 19 - Dad, 20 - Qos, 21 - Tnd, 22 - Twine, 23 - Tb, 24 - Cr

1 - Moore, 2 - Dalton, 3 - Craig, 4 - Connery, 5 - Brosnan, 6 - Lazenby

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

The next film will be called: James Bond and the Evil Plot To Hold The World To Ransom

Or: James Bond vs. Spectre

Or: James Bond Returns

Or: Risico

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

I think some people are missing the wonderful satire of this topic.  ajb007/lol

1. Goldfinger 2. Skyfall 3. Goldeneye 4. The Spy Who Loved Me 5. OHMSS
"I never joke about my work, 007."

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

I've been advised to not attempt satire on these boards, as it might not be comprehended  ajb007/insane  Which is a pity, as that well is fairly full!  ajb007/cool

"Blood & Ashes"...AVAILABLE on Amazon.co.uk: Get 'Jaded': Blood & Ashes: The Debut Oscar Jade Thriller
"I am not an entrant in the Shakespeare Stakes." - Ian Fleming
"Screw 'em." - Daniel Craig, The Best James Bond EverTM

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

I heard rumors that there maybe a gun in the next film. I wasn't sure how accurate the source is. So maybe it's not true.

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

It's official. Daniel Craig is going to make 4 more bond films back to back.

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

I heard a true rumour that Disney are going to buy the rights to Bond and that Bond 25 will be an animated musical.

In a leaked memo, Bond girls will now be known as Bond princesses.

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

IanT wrote:

I heard a true rumour that Disney are going to buy the rights to Bond and that Bond 25 will be an animated musical.

In a leaked memo, Bond girls will now be known as Bond princesses.

Disney to do Bond , cant wait to see what the ride at Hollywood studios Orlando will be like  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol

By the way, did I tell you,  I was       "Mad"?

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

In Bondworld in Florida the ladies featured on the sign at the start of the tour will be wearing swimsuits or bikinis, but in EuroBondworld in Paris they will be stark naked  ajb007/biggrin

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

For the first time since DN, Bond will sing. In fact, musical numbers will feature in all Disney Bond movies. It is believed the song and dance numbers will play well in Asian markets, especially India.

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

Breaking news, Craig has quit and everyone's loveable frog has been recruited.

Kermit the frog has been recruited to replace bond. Miss piggy will star as piggy galore in the new film "muppets take on bond"

Rizzo rat is Q and Michael Cain is 008.

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

The search for a topical and modern threath is ongoing. Right now the scriptwriters are developing a story idea where the villans are trying to make masses of men impotent by producing poisoned sausages. At first MI6 suspect muslim or jewish terrorists, but it turns out the villan is an extremist vegeterian billionaire. The working title is "The Sausage Threat"
The producers promise "the biggest sausage fest ever seen on film" where "Bond must face his deepest fears".
This looks very promising!

Last edited by Number24 (4th May 2016 14:32)

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

"The Sausage of Death" is another title under consideration  ajb007/bond
So is "The Sausage Conspiracy"

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Re: Exceedingly accurate and incredibly true rumours about Bond25

The man with the deadly sausage ?

"Let his death be a particularly unpleasant and humiliating one."